Chasing Memories
by GottaSecretForYa
Summary: Jay's savings have run out and he is forced to become a prostitute to support himself. He meets a man who becomes the most addicting client he's had yet. But how much does he want to risk this man finding out about him? Jay/OMC, also Jay/Tim and Jay/Alex.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This is a story that I am writing entirely for self-indulgence. I just reaallly wanted to write it and I won't be offended if no one wants to read it because they think it's creepy or weird. I will update as new entries come out.

**Pairings**: Jay/OMC, Jay/Tim and Jay/Alex later on.

**Warnings**: Rated M for yaoi and some descriptive bits.

**Disclaimer**: Marble Hornets belongs to Troy, Joseph, and Tim. The OMC is mine, however shamelessly added.

* * *

The first time Jay met the man with the cool, gray eyes was completely by accident. He had been walking down a mostly deserted street in early January, hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders hunched against a biting wind. His fingers were wrapped around his phone, ready to alert him to any word from Tim. He said he was working, trying to save money. For what, Jay didn't know, but he was stuck waiting, yet again, for any word on when they could go to the hospital again. It had been a month. How long did Jay have to wait?

He had been trying to fill up his time searching for more clients. If Tim thought it was best to try and save money, then maybe that was a sign for him to do it as well. It offered a distraction, at least, which was what Jay wanted. Alone and bored, he would review the old tapes or begin to imagine the absolute worst case scenarios as to how this entire situation would turn out. When his morbid thoughts turned to death, that is when he would take to the streets. Nothing to relieve one's loneliness like relieving another's, even if it resulted in bending yourself over a table or a counter.

Sometimes he wondered if Tim had caught wind or even suspected what Jay did for his primary source of income. If he did, Jay didn't care. Honestly, Tim's opinion of him probably couldn't go lower than it already was.

His male clients he were more interested in picking him off the street. Women would take him by referral or if they met him in a less seedy location. At the moment, he was really just trying to find his car again after being turned out of a client's car after they had driven to a mall parking lot and the man had requested a quick job involving Jay's mouth. The mall had only been a mile and a half away, but Jay was tired and the cold was sucking all motivation for him to think.

He kept his gaze down when he passed a group of kids standing on the street corner. When he glanced back up, he saw someone leaning against the red-bricked entrance of an apartment building, lit by the yellowing light of a wall lamp. He had a thick coat and a head of hair darker than Tim's. He looked to be in his late-thirties, early-forties and his gray eyes had the tiniest hint of laugh lines around them. His lips were wrapped around a cigarette and his chin dusted with stubble.

Gray Eyes watched Jay as he came nearer, and Jay, despite himself, found himself staring back. Up close, he could appreciate how attractive the man was. With the way his gaze swept over Jay's body, Jay could tell he was appreciating the view he had as well. That made Jay pause. He was a bit tired, but the client in the parking lot hadn't wanted intercourse, so he wasn't sore. He wouldn't mind taking someone else up for an hour or two, especially with someone this handsome.

He screwed up his courage and slowed down. "Nice night, isn't it?"

Gray Eyes grunted and took a puff of his cigarette. Perhaps Jay had been wrong and he wasn't interested after all. He was about to hurry on when the man said, "It's cold out tonight. Is that jacket all you've got?"

His voice was low, a little gruff, with the hint of a Chicago accent. Someone from the big city might be used to the presence of hookers, if not hired a few himself.

Jay shrugged. "I'm pretty used to it."

Gray Eyes raised an eyebrow. "You outside often?"

"You could say that," Jay said, hoping the man thought that his cheeks were tinged with red because of the cold. "I'm, um...I'm on the streets often. For my job, that is."

Gray Eyes smirked a bit. "I knew what you meant." Again, his eyes raked over Jay's slight form. Jay kept his gaze steady on the other's face. "I'm sure you get a lot of business, whatever it is you do."

This time, Jay really did blush and look down. Business wasn't scarce, but not many clients complimented him widely for his looks (his apparent talent was more appreciated). He knew he wasn't the ugliest around, but he was no male model either, particularly with his loss of appetite making him thinner and the constant paranoia taking the color from his cheeks. He certainly hadn't expect Gray Eyes to appraise him.

"Well, I guess you could say that," Jay said, looking back up to meet his gaze full-on.

After another long drag on the cigarette, Gray Eyes gestured for him to come closer and lowered his voice. "How much do you charge?"

Jay had long gotten over the embarrassment of discussing deals. He thought of it like they were talking about Jay painting a garage door or vacuuming a rug rather than selling his body.

"Seventy-five an hour. We do whatever you want," he muttered. His price fluctuated, actually, depending on his mood, the night, and the pace of business. He sometimes wasn't the best judge of character and some of them spit in his face if they thought he was demanding too high. But it was for his own protection. If they were willing to pay that much, then maybe it meant they were more well off and wouldn't be a crack head or a sleeze. In theory, anyway.

Gray Eyes looked like he was well-groomed and his coat made of a good material. He would have asked for one hundred an hour, but he couldn't deny the way his heart thudded pleasantly when he met the man's eyes. It was a foreign feeling after so many months of loneliness.

"That's a lot. Are you really that good?" Gray Eyes said. Jay thought he caught a hint of skepticism and looked away, swallowing hard. Gray Eyes continued, "Don't worry. I didn't mean anything by it. I just don't want to be cheated. How do I know you're clean?"

It was probably his pale complexion and the dark circles under his eyes that were raising the red flag. He made a mental note to by some concealer or foundation in the future.

_Wanna buy some lipstick while you're at it? Mascara too? Go the whole nine yards?_ he thought, inwardly cringing.

"I use protection," he said, clutching the handful of condoms in his jacket pocket. "And I check to make sure they are clean too."

In most cases, his clients were fine using condoms on the off chance Jay had something. He had fortunately kept himself disease-free ever since starting this eight months ago. It wasn't easy, but it had been worth it.

Gray Eyes raised his eyebrows and looked as though he was about to reply when he looked down the street and frowned. A black sedan was driving slowly in their direction. Jay had become familiar with the behavior of unmarked cop cars in the area and a chill went up his spine. Actually, how was he to know that Gray Eyes wasn't an undercover cop? Jay couldn't afford to get busted and sent to jail. Who would bail him out? Tim? That was laughable. His family? He had talked to them sparingly over the last two years. Currently, they thought he was working as a waiter in Northport. Jay's father was a proud man. If he found out Jay was whoring himself out, Jay would be disowned without question.

He was about to utter an apology and push himself away when Gray Eyes pulled out a key and unlocked the front door to the apartment building.

"They've been combing the streets more and more these days. Come in. I'll take you for a couple hours. Just act casual so they don't think anything."

Jay nodded and was happy to get inside the musty stairwell out of the cold. It wasn't an ancient building, but the carpet in the hall looked as though it had never seen a decent shampooing. Jay didn't doubt Gray Eyes had enough money, but he wondered what he would be doing in a place like this. Certainly, he seemed to have way more manners than a lot of Jay's other clients.

He was led up a staircase and down a hallway with bland wallpaper. Gray Eyes stopped at a door and unlocked it. He held it open for Jay, who blushed and muttered a "thank you" before ducking inside. The place was more lightly furnished than a hotel room, with a hardwood floor and rather unimpressive furnishings. From first glance, Jay wondered if Gray Eyes spent much time there at all.

But he was there to give a service, not ask questions. The apartment was well lit and the blinds were closed. He forced himself to relax and focus on the task at hand.

When Gray Eyes kicked his shoes off and set them near the door, Jay followed suit. When Gray Eyes hung up his coat and held a hand put for Jay's jacket, he faltered, but refused as politely as possible.

"I like to keep it with me," he said, trying to smile.

"Afraid of theft, I suppose," Gray Eyes said teasingly.

"Um, n-no...just..." Jay didn't want to give the real reason: that he wanted to keep it nearby just in case he needed to make a quick getaway. Not from the client, of course, but in case he saw...he didn't want to finish that thought.

Gray eyes chuckled and it was an entrancing sound. "You don't have to explain. You can take a shower first. You want anything to drink?"

The man's hospitality surprised Jay. Either Gray Eyes wanted to take things slow or he just wanted to make sure Jay was clean before they got to business. Whatever the case, Jay would never be one to refuse a hot shower.

"Towels are already in there. If you want, you can get dressed again afterward, but you don't have to bother," Gray Eyes said. _There_ was the hungry glint that Jay had been waiting for. Even the shy clients would have it eventually. Seeing it in those gray eyes made a pleasant warmth coil in his lower belly. This would be the first time for a while that he would be eager to be with a client.

He went into the bathroom after telling Gray Eyes that water would be fine to drink and began stripping off his clothes, leaving them folded on the toilet lid. There were some bathroom supplies spread out over the counter. Again, nothing that gave Jay the impression that this was a permanent dwelling. There was a roll of gauze and a closed pocket knife on the counter that he briefly pondered the use for (both clean; if they had been bloodied, Jay would have run as fast as he could out of there), but the cold air was beginning to nip at his skin, so he turned on the hot water and didn't spare a second getting in.

The shower was only five minutes long at the most, but it relaxed him. He sighed at the feel of the hot water and stole a little bit of the shower gel on a nearby shelf. Gray Eyes probably wouldn't mind.

His mind wandered to Tim. What would he be doing on a night like this? Resting? Watching crappy movies to take his mind off everything? Did he have enough pills to keep the seizures away? He had been extremely secretive as of late and Jay couldn't help but worry. He spared himself a few more moments of this train of thought before turning off the water and stepping out. He rubbed his hair dry with a white towel before wrapping it around his waist.

Gray Eyes was in the living room with a glass of water for him. As Jay drank, he was well aware of the man taking in all of his form. He hoped he didn't look too thin. He had been avoiding mirrors as of late. The old fear of what might be looking back or over his shoulder had reared its ugly head. He finished half the glass and set it back down on the table.

"Let's go to the bedroom. It's more comfortable in there," Gray Eyes said, smirking. Jay was led into another room with a simple, queen-sized bed. There was a maroon quilt spread haphazardly over top.

"What do you want me to do?" Jay said, feeling a trepidation that never seemed to go away when he was with a new client combined with the strange desire to please this man.

Gray Eyes reached up to hold Jay's jaw in one palm, running his thumb over his bottom lip. Jay leaned into the touch, closing his eyes at the warmth and the slight tickle. "First off, I want to see what your pretty mouth can do on me. We'll take it from there."

Jay nodded and the hand was taken away as Gray Eyes took a seat on the edge of the bed and undid his belt. As Jay knelt between his thighs, he caught Gray Eyes winking at him and felt another surge of pleasure. Why did the man have this effect on him? He took out a good-sized cock and Jay made sure Gray Eyes could see him licking his lips before he lowered his head.

By the end of the two hours, Jay had learned two things. One: Gray Eyes had an amazing body. Two: It was best to use water-based lubes. Oil-based lubes were the worst. The second fact was explained to him while Gray Eyes was in the middle of preparing him. His voice had been matter-of-fact and casual, even while he had three fingers massaging Jay's channel and arousing him more than he had been in weeks.

The first fact had come from observation as, upon finishing up Jay's preparation, Gray Eyes had stripped off his shirt and shoved his pants to his mid-thigh. He was lithe and muscular without having the extreme muscles of a body-builder. His mid-section was bronzed, as though he had spent some time in the sun. Jay was a bit self-conscious, but didn't have much time to dwell on it as Gray Eyes mounted him. It was deliciously rough. With Gray Eyes, Jay didn't have to fake any moans or gasps.

After he was dressed, a stack of twenties was pressed into his hand. Way more than $150.

"Umm...thank you," Jay said, blushing.

"For cab fare or whatever else," Gray Eyes said, favoring him with another wink. "You have a phone number?"

Jay bit his lip. He didn't like to give his number to his clients freely. He didn't want to become attached or pull them into any of the crap that he was going through. But losing contact with this man caused him no small amount of hurt; he was the first client who had made Jay feel like a human instead of just a piece of meat. Maybe if they kept it casual, it would be all right.

He gave his number, but by the time he made it back to his car, worry and regret were already churning in his stomach.


	2. Tied Choices

**A/N**: I am determined to finish this thing.

**Warnings**: Some alcohol and bondage kink in this chappy. Nothing overtly mature or graphic.

**Pairing**: Jay/OMC. Jam, and Jaylex later on.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything pertaining to Marble Hornets. It belongs to Troy Wagner, Tim Sutton, and Joseph Delage. I just write about the characters they made up.

* * *

Gray Eyes called Jay every three or four days after that first night. Jay found himself looking forward to the calls more and more as time went on. The man just knew what he was doing in the sheets and seemed to want Jay to enjoy it too. It was a breath of fresh air from Jay's other clients, who often wouldn't care if Jay felt good or not. Jay was grateful for the attention from Gray Eyes, but he couldn't understand why the man was so attentive to him.

He had asked for Jay's name at the fourth appointment, when Jay was about to leave. Jay had hesitated, considering giving an alias, but what could it hurt? Who was he going to protect himself from? Totheark? The tall, faceless thing? They probably knew more about him than he did about himself. Besides that, no one around this town knew who he was and he doubted anyone who Gray Eyes kept in contact with would care about the name of the prostitute he hired twice a week. Still, Jay only gave him his first name. He wasn't that stupid.

In between the more pleasant (and very lucrative) appointments with Gray Eyes, Jay was picked up by more people. There was a man who had taken him to the back of his car in a park. There had been families with children not far off and Jay considered refusing based on that fact, but his client said he loved the risk of being caught, the thrill of doing it and getting away with it. He paid Jay another twenty so he wouldn't complain again and Jay closed his eyes while the man grunted on top of him, hoping the car wasn't bouncing too obviously. He bought himself a new memory card for his camera with the extra money.

One blustery night, a couple of women were stalking around a bar and saw him getting in and out of a parked car. They weren't shy and asked him if he wanted to come to their place for "some real fun." It had been a boring day (minus the anxiety and paranoia that came with knowing you were being stalked), so he smiled and said he was in, especially when they promised that they tipped well.

They took him to the basement of an apartment on the seedy side of town where a tripod was pointing towards a bare mattress with shackles attached to the four posts of the bed frame. He almost had the mind to flee back up the stairs and out of there, but they goaded him on, telling him he could have the tape if he went through with it. They had plenty more and weren't lacking for volunteers.

Jay considered it. His experiences with video tapes seemed to signal bad luck as of late, but he needed the money and he had noticed that his chances of being attacked were far lower if he was surrounded by people.

He stripped down and waited on the mattress while they locked the shackled around his wrists and ankles. He didn't care about the kinky stuff, he tried to tell himself. If the client wanted it, they would get it.

Actually, the specifics from that night were a bit blurry and he had the distinct feeling he should be grateful for that. He was pretty sure things had gone downhill after one of the ladies pulled out a bottle of wine and drained half of it into an orifice that was definitely not his mouth. The alcohol had soaked into his system right away, resulting in the rest of the time passing in a haze. When he finally came to, he was in a bed in a strange hotel with $50 in his pocket, a new tape, and dark purple bruises in a ring on his wrists and ankles. He threw the tape into the bottom of his bag, sick at the mere thought of watching it.

As luck would have it, Gray Eyes called him that afternoon, asking if he had plans for that evening (as though Jay ever had plans nowadays). He had tried hiding the bruises in his sleeves, but when Gray Eyes caught it anyway, he frowned at the splotches.

"Another client?" he said, rubbing surprisingly gentle fingers over the dark rings.

Jay just shrugged.

"There are a few sex dungeons around here that would do a lot worse. And no," he added, when he saw the expression on Jay's face, "I don't know that by experience. I've heard about what goes on down there, though. Just be careful who you go home with."

"All right," Jay said, more than a little distracted by the feel of those warm, strong hands.

"You like bondage?" Gray Eyes said.

Jay shrugged again. "I don't really care. I will do it if they want to."

Gray Eyes was silent for a long moment, gently prodding and examining his wrists. "If you do it right, there should be very little bruising, unless bruising is your thing, anyway…" He smiled lopsidedly. "I don't peg you for the type to like it, though."

Again, Jay shrugged. Having a few dark spots because a client got too rough just meant having to wear long sleeves for a couple days. If he really wanted to, he could charge extra for it.

"Next time, I'll bring something and show you how it's really done," Gray Eyes said, dropping Jay's wrist. Lust was ebbing into his expression and he leaned back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows. "Strip for me."

Jay didn't fight the rising heat in his neck and cheeks, figuring it would put some color into his pale face. He slowly lifted up first his jacket then his shirt. When he slid his jeans over his hips and it was revealed he wasn't wearing underwear, he felt wicked at Gray Eye's grin. He didn't do it for just anybody. When he said as much, Gray Eyes raised his eyebrows and dragged Jay forward by his elbows until he was on his hands and knees on the creaking mattress.

Gray Eyes' breath was hot in Jay's ear as he screwed him, his arms squeezing Jay's mid-section so tightly Jay thought he might snap in half. He was surprised to find he liked the feeling, to imagine that the reason that Gray Eyes was using so much force was that he couldn't get enough of Jay. He imagined being shackled to this bed, but with Gray Eyes doing things to him instead of the girls and pleasure surged through him all the more intensely. The bruises Gray Eyes left behind wouldn't just be because they used the wrong kind of rope or bare handcuffs. Finally, someone might actually want him enough to mark him and claim him.

Later, Jay felt silly for his imaginings. Who would want to love a whore, especially someone as used and desperate as Jay? Certainly not Gray Eyes, who for all he knew, had a family somewhere and was just using Jay as stress relief. His throat closed as he received his payment ($150 plus another generous tip) and he managed to croak a "thank you" before hurrying out of the building. He thought of the pride he had inherited from his father and refused to cry.

* * *

TotheArk's "Surveillance" video caught Jan entirely by surprise. He'd been taking a shower and had come back to find his fans eagerly tweeting him. It took him three attempts to watch the video before he could even begin to understand what exactly was it he was looking at. It was now painfully obvious that TotheArk had access to most, is not all of his footage. He glanced at his bag of tapes. He hardly ever bothered to take stock of everything that was in there. It would be the easiest thing for someone to steal a couple tapes at a time and he would never notice.

He watched the images of him Tim and Alex play across TotheArk's televisions with a sense of dreadful foreboding. If TotheArk was trying to mock him, it was working.

Then the codes had flashed up on the screen and he felt a quickly growing headache behind his eyes. With a sigh, he jotted down the numbers and poured himself a cup of coffee. The amount of codes Jay had had to crack would make anyone a master code breaker by the end of the month. Yet, he soon discovered that this one would have him and his fans running for their money.

For the first few days, progress was infuriatingly slow. He finally had to acknowledge that he needed Tim's help. Despite having little contact with him for a few weeks, Tim picked up on the second ring when Jay called. Jay already knew that Tim has been working overtime for several days so that he could save money. He felt a bit guilty asking for Tim's help, but Tim seemed willing enough.

Jay tried to play the part of a gracious host as much as he could, even when all he could offer to him was some soda and a delivery pizza. Tim didn't complain and they settled in for a series of long, sleepless nights of working.

Jay's side business suffered as a result and he was painfully aware of that fact as his bank account began to suffer. He didn't particularly care about his clients beyond the fact that he was losing money. What he did regret however, was that he hadn't seen Gray Eyes much during this time. The last time he had seen the man had been when he had promised Jay their little bondage session. He hadn't received so much as one call ever since.

Maybe Gray Eyes had decided Jay wasn't worth his price anymore and had become bored with him. Maybe he had moved out of town, back to the big city (where Jay could easily imagine someone like him fitting in). If that apartment really had been a temporary means of housing, then where was Gray Eyes now?

Once, when he was staring out the window of his hotel room, pondering these things, Tim finally called him out, waving a hand in front of his face.

"Earth to Jay. Are you listening to me?" Tim said.

Jay blinked and glanced up at him guiltily. "Sorry, I guess I'm just a bit tired."

"We've been at this for five hours. It's 3 AM. We need to get some sleep," Tim said.

The scraps of paper strewn over the table were evidence of their work, although most of it looked like a calculator had vomited all over their workspace. The rest was chicken scratches and coffee stains.

"Do you get the feeling Totheark is just fucking with you? With us?" Tim said. He opened the window to a cold, blistery night and lit a cigarette. "What if the code doesn't mean anything and he just sent it to us to keep us busy for a while?"

"You think it's just a distraction?" Jay said. "But what if it means something important?"

Tim shrugged. "It would make more sense to just come out and tell us than give us more cryptic shit if it was really that important."

Jay doubted that. Totheark's favorite hobby seemed to be dangling clues in front of them like a fisherman and waiting for them to take the bait before suffocating them on dry ground. In truth, Jay was getting just as sick of it as Tim was.

There was a silence between them and finally, Tim went to the bathroom to flush the cigarette down the toilet. "I'll work on this more when I get off work tomorrow. But I'm serious Jay, you need to get some sleep."

Jay bit his tongue against the temptation to snap and say that he could decide what was best for him and that he wasn't a child. Tim was right and he was only concerned. Besides, he was a little moved that Tim would be thinking about his welfare when he was just as exhausted.

He showed Tim out to his car (thankfully, an uneventful trip) and returned to his hotel room determined to get a few hours' rest. He glanced at the camera, which had been pointed at the table the entire time Tim had been there. Fascinating movie that would make; all of five hours of them staring at paper, occasionally writing things down and muttering short phrases to each other. With a sigh, he switched it off, pushing down the persistent, ominous feeling in his gut in favor of relief.

The next day, he logged on to Twitter and saw that someone had already cracked the code. It could have been the happiest morning of his life. He had definitely been giving out information on his and Tim's findings, but they hadn't been able to crack the entire thing themselves. After so much time and so much work, the answer was almost anticlimactic. There was TotheArk's intimidation tactics, of course, and also a very cryptic clue about a woman that could have only been Jessica. He should have been comforted by the knowledge that there was a chance she was still alive, but he didn't know for sure what to feel until he knew for certain that she was safe.

Tim was relieved when Jay shared the news with him, but he agreed that he couldn't make heads or tails of what the code meant. What he did say was that he was quitting his job soon and had already given his two week notice. He would be available to go to go back to the hospital that weekend. Over the phone, his voice sounded casual, but Jay detected the nervousness underneath. He wondered at it, but didn't want to rush Tim. Whatever was bothering him was most likely going to come out in the open at the hospital.

One night, they were exchanging texts, trying to agree on a time to meet that weekend. Eventually, Tim announced that he had to leave to give his boss his final goodbye and then left for a little while. Jay rested his head in his hands, waiting for Tim's reply when he felt his phone go off in his lap. He answered it without bothering to glance at the caller ID.

"Hey, Tim, that was fast. Did you already talk to your boss?"

"Was I supposed to be?"

The voice startled Jay into soberness. There was no mistaking the low tone or the hint of Chicagoan accent. He glanced at the caller ID. Sure enough…

"Damn, I'm sorry, I was expecting somebody else to call," Jay said, his face heating.

"So I thought. Is Tim a friend of yours? I can let you go if you're waiting for a call…"

"No! It's okay," Jay stammered. Then, before he realized what he was doing, he said, "I didn't think I would hear from you again."

"Miss me?" Jay could practically hear the smirk in the way his tone dripped.

"W-well," he began. What could the truth hurt? "Yeah, I did," he said, feeling foolish.

"I was running a few errands outside of town, but I've been thinking about you quite a bit. If you can clear up some space in your busy schedule from this Tim-character, I can see you tonight."

"Yes," Jay said, too quickly, and he blushed at the chuckle that followed. When had he started acting like puppy begging for one iota of his master's attention? Was he really so desperate for another night of pleasure so he could forget his fear? Not that Gray Eyes seemed to care that Jay was acting like an idiot. He would get what he paid for in any case.

Tim called a bit later and they agreed to meet at the hospital the coming Friday. He was glad they spoke over the phone so Tim couldn't see the shameful blush lingering on his face.

* * *

Gray Eyes had not forgotten his promise for a bit of bondage. This time, Jay was hooked to the bed in the scarcely-furnished apartment with a set of black handcuffs (padded, to Jay's relief). He couldn't see Gray Eyes through the handkerchief that served as his blindfold, but he could feel warm hands toying with him, feeling him up, constricting lightly around his throat (which added a new, heightened pleasure that he wouldn't have expected).

Despite the weeks they had been out of contact, Jay's attraction had not diminished. Gray Eyes was as achingly handsome as ever. Perhaps a little worse for wear; whatever "errands he had been running" seemed to have tired him out, though Jay couldn't tell the difference when he was being pounded. But he found, after the blindfold had been removed, that if he focused hard enough, he could make out the outline of a healing scar down the side of his forehead. Jay's own bruises had log since faded and the padded handcuffs spared him more. He left the apartment that much richer and with his skin unmarred.

As he lay in bed that night, his phone jarred him awake. It was a text message from an unknown number, which made him hesitate to answer. When he did, he found a URL to a private Youtube video on TotheArk's channel. He gulped and opened the link on his phone, but what he saw made him want to chuck it out the window. The image was a photo-negative version of the footage those two female clients from weeks ago had taken of their screwed up night. He had never actually watched the tape himself, but there was no mistaking his prone and naked form, tied to the bed and writhing around (or was he struggling?)

About halfway through the video, words appeared on the screen, saying, "WHAT DOES THE WHORE SAY? LET'S ASK HIM"

Jay promptly ran to the bathroom to be sick. He didn't need to check his bag to know that particular tape would be gone.


	3. The Little Failures

**A/N**: So this still exists. I'm not going to stop writing! I swear!

**Pairings**: Jay/OMC, Jay/Tim and Jay/Alex later on.

**Warnings**: Rated M for yaoi and some descriptive bits. This chapter is pg-13.

**Disclaimer**: Marble Hornets belongs to Troy, Joseph, and Tim. The OMC is mine, however shamelessly added.

* * *

It was supposed to have been a simple walk. Jay liked to take walks whenever he had a few minutes of spare time. Take an hour to get outside, breathe in the fresh air, let it clear his head. The camera was optional and sometimes he left it in his hotel room just so he could relish feeling somewhat normal, like he didn't have a reason to be paranoid. But he was so used to the heavy weight and the security that it gave him that he would only stay out for a few minutes before turning around and heading back just so he could hold it again.

That day, however, he was determined to view the trees and the sky without looking through a lens. It was his way of reminding himself that the world was real and tangible in front of him. It had been a slow walk during a clear day, but he had stayed out longer than he had meant to and, after not heeding the weather forecast on the news that morning, was surprised at how quickly storm clouds gathered overhead. Within fifteen minutes, a steady hail (hail, in Alabama!) was threatening to batter his skull in. Of course, he had left his car in the parking lot of his hotel. The rough weather was probably punishment for not planning better.

His route had taken him close to the gargantuan wooden structure that served as railroad tracks over a wide. He had been there before, in one of the earlier entries on his Youtube channel (he couldn't recall which; they all blended in after a while). It had been summer then and that seemed like an eternity ago. It looked solid enough to give him shelter and that was all he cared about.

When he got underneath the wooden scaffolding, he discovered he wasn't alone. A group of four large, young men had already camped out in the spot. Empty beer bottles were strewn all over and they had a pitiful bonfire going. He flushed, muttering an apology, and was about to back out and go looking for a different spot when one of them held up a beer and invited him to join them with a drunken grin. He tried to relax. These were just kids wanting a good time, not trouble. Still, he didn't plan to stay there long.

Some time passed. Jay stood at the edge of their makeshift camp, clearly just waiting for the weather to let up and half listening to the guys joking around. He felt a hand on his shoulder and twisted around. The guy it belonged to stood a half a head taller than he did. His hand still clasped Jay's shoulder.

"I think I've seen you around, y'know," he said, voice slurring horribly. He was standing close enough for his alcohol-laden breath to land right on Jay's face. Jay tried not to wince.

"I doubt it," Jay said, trying to pull away. "I don't really go out much during the day."

"That'sh what I mean. I saw you hangin' around downtown 'n you hooked up with some rich guy in a suit." The guy's grin turned into a sneer. "Admit it, yer a hooker. We've got plenty of them around."

He should have known this town was small enough that someone would recognize him eventually. He would have to be more careful. These guys were raising his alarm bells very quickly. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to be out of there, even if it meant braving the hail.

"Look, I'm sorry I bothered you guys. I'm going," he said. Just as he turned to go out from underneath the bridge, the grip on his arm tightened like a vice.

"Wait a minute, I can pay you good," the guy holding him said. "We just scored a deal big time n' we're lookin' to celebrate."

Jay hesitated. He really didn't feel like taking up a client right now with his clothes soaked and his feet feeling like they were frostbitten.

"I'm sorry, I really don't know what you're talking about," he said, trying to pry the man's hand off of him. The other three guys were now looking at him with extreme interest. A drunken hunger gleamed in their eyes. He took a deep breath, wondering if there was anyone in the park who would be able to hear him if he screamed.

"Ya know what I'm talkin' 'bout," the man said. He grabbed his groin suggestively. "Just suck me for a bit then ya can see if my buddies want a turn. It's more if we wanna pound you, right?"

Jay wasn't new to this kind of language, but hearing it from this guys gave him the creeps.

"Let me go!" he demanded. He tried to shove the guy's arm off of him and instead found himself pushed roughly up against one of the railway's support beams.

"Come on, come on. Don't be like that! I thought you hookers weren't supposed to turn down nobody!" the man said, grinning.

"Stop!" he said, now trying to squirm out from the strong grip. His knee connected with the man's groin, causing him to double over in pain. Before he could move to run, the other three guys were right there to catch hold of him. Not one, but two fists caught him in the stomach, making him cough. A web of dark spots threatened to overwhelm his vision. He barely felt it when they stripped off his jacket and shirt, but he definitely saw one of them rummage through the pockets. Good thing he had left his camera back at the hotel.

_Well, there goes last week's earnings,_ he thought. He chided himself for the thought when he remembered that he had more important things to worry about at the moment. If he had to go to the hospital because of this, he would be in way worse trouble than he already was. His parents would have to be called in to help him pay the bill. How the hell was he supposed to explain this and the past several months to them?

A couple more well placed kicks brought him to his knees. Just as he felt them working on his jeans, he heard two of them swear and saw them pointing towards the other side of the scaffolding. Despite his dazed vision, he managed to glance up.

There, standing like a pillar with its head tilted, almost curiously, was the faceless being that Jay recognized from so many clips of film and nightmares. His breath caught and he would have had a coughing fit were it not for the fact that his legs were already working fast, propelling him upward and away from the men. He heard them yelling at the newcomer, demanding it tell them who the hell it was (_good luck getting an answer_, he thought.) He at least had the mind to pick up his shirt as he headed back out into the rain.

His thoughts echoed in his head, saying, _coward! coward!_ It was the second time he had left someone to bear the brunt of that thing's malice. The difference was that he had cared about Tim enough to try and rescue him and had only run because Tim had yelled at him to. Even then he had known that one of them had to stay alive to look for the other.

He didn't want to think about what would have transpired if the tall monster hadn't interrupted those men. He would likely have more injuries than wounded pride and a stolen wad of cash. Luckily, he had left the majority of his funds in his car's glove box.

Through the rain, he couldn't tell for sure which way he'd been running. In the back of his mind, he wanted to call a taxi to take him back to his hotel, but he had no way to pay for it. There was a small wooden picnic house at the edge of the park. He ran inside, doubling over and gasping for breath. After few moments, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. With wet, cold fingers, he fumbled to open it and saw that it was Gray Eyes.

He debated for a long moment about whether or not he should answer it. He was still breathing hard and he didn't want Gray Eyes to ask after him. And if he wanted to meet with Jay tonight, what then? Jay doubted he would be composed enough to do anything for the man. He hesitated long enough for it to go to voice mail and sighed. How desperately did he need money after such a large amount had been stolen? He would decide that later.

As it was, he still had to figure out how to get back to the hotel. The hail had stopped, leaving just the freezing rain. He slipped his jacket back on and went out to find the road. His eyes darted around the trees out of habit. He still couldn't figure out why that thing had come when it did. He never thought he would say that he was grateful to it. But it might have been there to kill him as well! The other guys would have just been an incentive, a side dish to the main course.

His conscience yanked at him. Maybe he should have warned them or yelled at them to run. Maybe he should have stayed to make sure they got out safely. But at the time, the only thing on his mind had been survival. Perhaps he should go back at some point just to see if there was any sign if they had run away. He wouldn't go back now, not when the faceless thing might still be there.

The park was a mud puddle because of all the rain. He cursed as his shoe sunk into a particularly soft, stubborn patch of mud and he thought he might have to leave it behind. Maybe he should call Tim to come and pick him up, but he felt guilty for bothering him for something like this when it was Jay's fault for getting caught in the poor weather.

Just when he had resigned himself to picking his way along the road alone and hoping he didn't catch pneumonia, a spotless, silver car slowed down and pulled over next to him. His face flushed and he lowered his head, wishing whomever it was would just keep driving. But the car didn't speed up again and the window rolled down.

"Jay? What are you doing out here?" Gray Eyes was staring at him from the driver's seat like he had grown scales and gills.

Jay shrugged, hoping Gray Eyes couldn't see how red his face must have been. "Just taking a walk," he said.

"I tried to call you a while ago," Gray Eyes said.

"Must not have heard it."

Gray Eyes gave him a skeptical glare. "Get in. I'll take you where you need to go."

Jay blushed deeper. "I'll be fine, you don't need to." Gray Eyes probably already had a low opinion of him. He didn't need to go ruining it further. Although, right then he would have liked nothing more than to curl up in the car and listen to the man's low voice while they drove for hours.

"Do you want to catch your death? Get in the car," Gray Eyes said. Jay heard the door unlock and stared at the handle. What if the monster wasn't finished? What if he found Jay and, as a result, Gray Eyes? He had promised never to put anyone else in danger as a result of his actions and now here he was breaking it.

Gray Eyes showed no sign of stepping down and, finally, Jay relented. His clothes were soaked through and he felt like a drenched rat, but he opened the door and climbed in.

If Gray Eyes was concerned for the car seats getting wet, he didn't show it. He handed Jay a dark green towel from the back seat and Jay took it with a muttered thanks. As he dried himself off, he finally had the chance to see his arms, which were developing dark splotches where the men had grabbed him.

He flipped down the passenger's side mirror to check his face. There was a red, vaguely hand-shaped print on his cheek. There was no chance Gray Eyes would have missed it. What would he think? That Jay had been dragged to another sex dungeon? Surely now he would realize just how low Jay had been driven and decide he was a waste of time.

He glanced over at Gray Eyes, feeling self-conscious, but the man never looked away from the road. Jay gave him brief directions back to his hotel and they arrived about ten minutes later. Apparently Jay had walked farther than he originally thought. They pulled into the parking lot and the silence stretched on for several more moments. At last, Jay offered to give him back the towel. Gray Eyes shook his head.

"Keep it. You don't have much for yourself, do you?" he said.

Jay was well-aware of all that was going unspoken, that Gray Eyes had guessed how he was living. There was more Jay didn't have, like his own bed, food, or friends. He had never felt so stripped and exposed. At least Gray Eyes only knew him from the last month. Jay would have died from humiliation if anyone from his hometown could see him now.

He thanked the man again and turned to open the door.

"Were you robbed?" Gray Eyes said. His eyes ran down the bruises on his face and arms. Jay looked away and nodded. "They take it all?"

"No. I left most of my money in my room," Jay said.

Gray Eyes made a non-commital noise and dug around in his coat for a leather wallet. He withdrew two twenties and held them out to Jay.

"Let me buy a kiss from you," he said.

Jay flushed. He didn't usually kiss clients. He could give away his body, but he had always wanted to keep kissing personal, the last bridge of intimacy he had in this miserable existence.

Did he want to kiss Gray Eyes, the only client to make him feel like a human being instead of a piece of meat? He decided yes, he did. But did he want to be paid for it, to have it be just another meaningless service?

He bit his lip. "You can have a kiss for free." He expected to the man to lose interest and kick him out or maybe laugh at him.

Instead, Gray Eyes smiled grimly. "Take it. You need it. This is your only source of income, right?" When Jay still hesitated, he added, "Go buy yourself dinner. We'll say I bought it for you. Then the kiss can be free."

Jay couldn't help but smile as the logic. He didn't argue when the cash was pressed into his hand. His fingers closed over the bills. He had a second to look up before a pair of warm, slightly rough lips were pressed over his.

He gasped softly. Gray Eyes knew what he was doing. The kiss was probing and deep. He quickly began to respond, moving his lips and reaching up to set a hand on the man's neck.

He gasped when he felt a strong tongue probe his lips and opened his mouth to let it in. He hadn't been expecting a kiss this passionate. Then again, forty dollars was a lot for just a quick peck. He gripped the man's jacket, feeling heat begin to churn in his belly. Just when he started wondering if he should service Gray Eyes further and let his hands start wandering south, they separated.

Jay knew he was flushed and panting but Gray Eyes seemed as composed as ever and was raising his eyebrow at something over Jay's shoulder. The rain had let up enough for a couple of older ladies to see in through the window of the car. Both were glaring at them with scandalized expressions and it made Jay duck his head shyly. Gray Eyes chuckled and rubbed his shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't need to be checked up at the hospital or anything?" he said.

Jay nodded. "I'm fine. Thanks. Is that really all you wanted?"

Gray Eyes smiled knowingly. "I may call you later on this week, but that's all for now. Go and get some sleep."

Jay smiled and nodded. "Thank you for all this." He climbed out of the car, his heart still pounding. It was strange, usually being in such close proximity to the tall, faceless monster would have left his with a pounding headache and a savage cough for hours. But this time, he had recovered really quickly. All he wanted to do was crash in his hotel room. Once he was in the hotel and had stepped inside of the elevator, he rested his forward against the cool wall, riding upwards and trying to empty his mind.

* * *

Throughout the next week, the storms continued day after day. Jay stayed put in his room, his pride still smarting from the attack and his paranoia running rampant. That monster had appeared so suddenly, as though it had merely been waiting for the right moment to strike. Just the thought that it had been watching and following him this entire time made him squirm. What if he was being watched now? What if it knew what he did to get money? If Totheark knew, it was easy to assume that the monster knew.

What if it tried to go after his clients? Worse yet, what if Gray Eyes was harmed? By the end of the week, his funds were hurting enough that he began to sleep in his car at night. Despite his words, Gray Eyes hadn't called him again. He felt a bit relieved. He wasn't sure if he had the energy to accept any appointments. The storms let up on Saturday, leaving the ground muddy and nearly impassable. Tim called on Sunday to say he had to see his doctor, so they planned to go back to the hospital Monday afternoon. Jay left late in the morning, attempting to enjoy the sunshine and the quiet drive and failing miserably. He felt sick with the mere thought of going back when so many horrid memories haunted the burnt carcass of the hospital.

Tim's car was already in the parking lot when he arrived. When Jay climbed out, Tim emerged as well. He looked pale and nervous, as ragged as Jay felt. They exchanged the briefest greetings and then started off towards the buildings. Jay kept his eyes peeled and his camera held at the ready. Tim lead him to the worn annexed building that he had been so reluctant to enter before. Then they were in the small gray room that Tim had cowered in after he had been teleported and tossed around by that demented force after their run in Rosswood

A heavy cloud hung over Tim's head and he didn't seem to want to meet Jay's gaze. They had a rather awkward conversation which confirmed many of the theories Jay had developed. it was surprising how little he was bothered by the knowledge that Tim had been a mental patient. He sympathized with Tim, feeling a pang of guilt since he had been raised in a loving home. Jay was tempted to drop the camera and gather Tim up in his arms, but Tim had started pacing like a caged animal. He looked fearfully at Jay, as though afraid that he was going to accuse him of wrong-doing and pounce at any moment. All it did was make Jay feel nauseous.

"When I saw that footage that you got from him…and that person in the background or whatever it was…" Jay couldn't help but notice how he spat at the mention of the faceless monster, "I couldn't help but think…what if that's what I was saying well I was in here? what is that wasn't a hallucination at all?"

Jay peered at him in confusion. "Wait, what are you trying to say?"

Tim cut in before he could finish his sentence, speaking very frantically now. "I'm saying what is this is my fault? Alex could be a normal person! You could be living a normal life! So could Jessica, so could everybody else if it wasn't for me! I have no way of knowing that for sure! That's always going to be in the back of my mind! How am I supposed to handle at?!"

Tim turned away, rubbing his chin nervously. It took Jay a long moment to respond. He was trying to absorb this pseudo-confession at the same time as he was trying to come up with the right words to put Tim's mind at ease. But as usual, his attempts fell flat.

"I…I don't think shifting the blame is going to help anyone right now," he said.

"I blamed everyone else except for me and I could be the one that started this!" Tim turned and stomped out into the hallway. Jay followed him, feeling nothing but gut-wrenching helplessness.

"I think you just need to relax because all the stress is probably making you really paranoid…"

"BUT WHAT IF I'M RIGHT?!" Tim just about collapsed against the dilapidated wall, his hands covering his face. Jay just waited for him to sort out the chaos that he could guess was ravaging his mind. He was afraid of touching Tim, imagining being violently shoved away.

Tim's voice was broken as he said, " What if what happened to me is happening to Alex right now?"

Jay swallowed and said, "I don't know…but I do know that you're not like him…not entirely anyway."

"He's not running around in the woods with a mask on at night," Tim said, bitterly.

"No, but you're not putting a gun at me right now, either," Jay said, to which Tim gave the shortest laugh.

A silence fell back over the two of them. Jay peered down the hallways as Tim took the time to regain his composure.

"Well, that's it," Tim said. He gave a heady sigh and dropped his hands. Jay watched, a little concerned, as he climbed to his feet. With a single step, he was in front of Jay. His expression held a calm resolve Jay had never seen before. He tensed, remembering the moment in the parking lot the previous summer when Tim had punched him in the stomach.

Without warning, Tim reached up and coiled his hand behind Jay's neck. "No more secrets," he said, before he pulled Jay towards him and leaned in, pressing his lips to Jay's. Jay's eyes widened while Tim's were shut, a look of deep concentration making his features scrunch. For his part, Jay didn't know how to react. Where was this coming from? Did Tim actually like him like that? For how long? Jay hadn't suspected a thing and the action left him in shock.

As quickly as it began, it ended. Tim pulled away and looked down. Jay had to try twice to open his mouth and speak before the words would come out.

"B-But I thought…" he stammered. "I thought…"

Tim watched him expectantly with those dark, searching eyes. His expression still held resolve, but his nervousness was making it come apart at the seams. Jay knew what he wanted to say. _I thought you hated me._He couldn't bring himself to. Would it just push Tim away? They couldn't afford to distance themselves when they had only just started to trust each other.

Tim swallowed and said, "Look, as much as I hate to say this, I feel like there's something we're missing here and I really don't want to have to come back here again."

The tense moment had passed, though it felt as though a bullet had pierced the space between them and he had just left it open, bleeding and festering, when he should have said something to heal it. All he did was follow Tim as he walked down the hall. What could he say? Thank you? I like you too? I don't know if this is a good idea since I'm a prostitute and I don't think you know what you're signing up for? Goddamn it, how was he supposed to tell Tim about Gray Eyes? Would it hurt him too much if Jay said he wasn't interested?

He tried to ignore the awkwardness between them and the guilt in his own gut, instead focusing on looking through the offices. Maybe there was a document or a sign…something they had overlooked. Tim flipped open his cell phone and used the light to search the darkened shelves. It seemed like they were trying to avoid on another. Maybe it was Jay's imagination.

Then the Hooded Person came into view and everything became strained again. Tim grabbed a steel pipe and gave chase. They gave pursuit through the halls, even pausing for several moments as the figure knelt down to inspect something in one of the rooms. The moment the figure left, Jay went in to see what it was and found a tape, which he pocketed before rejoining Tim. They were lead outside where the Hooded Person seemed to pick up and unnatural speed and distance. Tim was dashing through the woods and the husks of weeds and it was all Jay could do just to keep up.

They finally emerged on the outskirts of a dead field. Tim stopped and gazed around until he finally drew back and tossed the pipe away. Jay cautiously came up beside him.

"So, what now?" he said.

Tim glanced at him and held up his thumb and forefinger. "We were this close! How could he just disappear like that?!"

"I don't know, maybe he hid in the woods or something and he's waiting for us to come back," Jay said. He didn't have any other ideas that didn't include more insane teleportation that would make neither of them feel better. They argued briefly and then Tim set back off towards the parking lot. With a moments hesitation to look back over the empty field, Jay left as well.

When they got back, Tim leaned back against his car, face in his hands again. Jay quietly put his camera and the tape in his car and then moved to climb in himself.

"Jay, wait."

He looked back at Tim, who was scratching his head. "I know we got kinda distracted," Tim began, "But…I hope I didn't offend you back there when I…" He made a vague waving gesture between them. It took Jay a moment to realize he was talking about the kiss.

"Oh…uh…I-It's okay. I'm glad you did it and got it off your chest," Jay said with a nervous smile. Each word made him want to kick himself harder.

"Really? So you don't mind?" Tim said, looking relieved.

"No, I don't," Jay said.

"All right then," Tim said. "Thanks…"

Jay had started climbing back into his car. "I'll talk to you later, okay? I'm gonna go check out the tape. Bye." He closed the car door and started the engine. Every inch of him felt uncomfortably hot with embarrassment and he drove away. The entire time, he could feel Tim's eyes on the back of his car and he couldn't deny his hope that this was all just a nightmare.


End file.
